commander · Hazel of the Rootbloom
Squirreled Away (BLC).
A Golgari token-aristocrats deck led by Hazel of the Rootbloom, generate endless Squirrel tokens, sacrifice them for value, and drain the table through death triggers and aristocrats effects.
The Commanders
Squirreled Away is a Golgari token-aristocrats deck from Bloomburrow. Hazel of the Rootbloom makes Squirrel tokens and rewards you for having a full board of them, then the deck sacrifices those tokens for value through Zulaport Cutthroat, Bastion of Remembrance, and Chatterfang. It plays like a classic aristocrats list with Squirrel tribal on top: build a big army, then drain opponents with death triggers.
Hazel of the Rootbloom is the Squirrel queen. She makes tokens, grows your Squirrel count, and pays you off as you sacrifice and recur them. Between her token generation and Golgari's sacrifice payoffs, the deck rarely runs low on resources. When one Squirrel dies, three more take its place.
Key Cards
Chatterfang, Squirrel General
The Squirrel lord. Whenever one or more tokens enter the battlefield under your control, Chatterfang makes that many extra Squirrel tokens. Every token you make becomes two, so a batch of three becomes six. With Hazel and Chatterfang both in play, token production doubles every turn. Chatterfang also has a sacrifice outlet built in: sacrifice any number of Squirrels to give a target creature +X/-X. That gets you combat kills or answers to indestructible threats. He's the reason the board becomes unmanageable within three turns of hitting the table.
Zulaport Cutthroat
The deck's most efficient drain piece. Whenever a creature you control dies, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1. This deck sacrifices Squirrels constantly, to Ashnod's Altar, to Chatterfang's ability, to blocking, so Zulaport triggers on every death. At 20-30 Squirrel deaths per game, that's 20-30 damage to each opponent from Zulaport alone. Bastion of Remembrance does the same thing, so the deck runs two copies of this win condition.
Ashnod's Altar
A sacrifice outlet that makes colorless mana. Sacrifice a creature, add two colorless. When you're making Squirrels by the dozen, this turns your token army into ramp. Sacrifice five Squirrels on your main phase, float ten mana, play your payoffs. With Zulaport Cutthroat watching every sacrifice, Ashnod's Altar drains opponents and builds your mana at the same time. It's also a free outlet that lets Hazel trigger her recursion abilities on demand.
Skullclamp
The best equipment in token decks. Equip Skullclamp onto a 1/1 Squirrel and it becomes 1/0, dies right away, and draws you two cards. One mana and one Squirrel for two cards. Do this a few times per turn and your token flood becomes a huge hand. Chatterfang replaces the Squirrels you sacrifice, so you can keep the Skullclamp draws going. In any aristocrats shell, this is the most reliable card advantage engine you can run.
Academy Manufactor
Multiplies all token production. Whenever you make a Food, Clue, or Treasure token, Academy Manufactor also makes one of each of the other two. When Hazel makes Food tokens, this hands you Clues and Treasures alongside them, so every token trigger draws cards and makes mana. That extra mana and card advantage speeds the deck up a lot in the mid-game.
Altar of Dementia
A free sacrifice outlet that mills opponents. Sacrifice a creature and a target player mills that many cards. With an army of Squirrels, you can mill an opponent's whole library in one turn. Combine with Chatterfang: make 30 Squirrels, sacrifice them one by one, mill an opponent for 30. This is the deck's backup mill win, good in games where the life drain isn't closing fast enough. It's weaker against graveyard recursion decks, but against most pods it's a real way to win.
How to Play
Start with green ramp and black card draw in the early turns. Get Hazel down on turn three and start building a Squirrel board. On turn four or five, land one drain payoff (Zulaport Cutthroat or Bastion of Remembrance) and one free sacrifice outlet (Ashnod's Altar or Woe Strider). Skullclamp goes down as soon as you have 1/1 tokens to cycle through.
The mid-game is about building a board nobody can race. Chatterfang doubles your token production, Hazel makes more Squirrels, and Skullclamp keeps your hand full. By turn seven or eight, dozens of Squirrel deaths have fed Zulaport for 20-30 damage per opponent. Close with a final burst of sacrifices: drain everyone left, or point Altar of Dementia at the last opponent and mill them out. The deck rewards grinding and patience over explosive combo turns.
